But Wait…What the HECK is Self Care?!



As of late there has been a trend or shall I say a huge increase in encouraging people to focus on this thing called “Self Care”. For many it’s taking time to go out, date yourself, shop, read ,pamper yourself, meditate, exercise, or whatever you “Me Time consists of. I believe all of these things are beneficial, but for me its a little deeper. I have been an advocate for self love and individual evolution, but you really dont realize just how imperative it is until you are forced to be in a situation with just YOU and you realize that you dont really know how to be with just YOU.

So much of my life has been giving and  pouring into others, being other’s emotional dumping ground, their spiritual warrior, their friend,mentor, wife, girlfriend, sister,brother, and so much more, that I only interpreted my worth by what I was to others.  Now dont get me wrong, I have taken time for myself, I have definitely focused on myself when it came to goals or things I needed to have done to keep everything a afloat in my life per say, but even in that, I have always thought about how what I was doing, or not doing would affect those who depended on me, or counted on me as their support, morally, emotionally, spiritually or as an outsider who saw me as a mentor, eventually my life became a constant evolution not just for me…but for everyone connected to me. Dont get me wrong I am grateful, but it is draining when everything you give out, isnt being refilled. 

Now I am forced to reconnect with me, have i let myself go? HELL NO. But internally I have not put myself first in a long time. This year has been trying to say the least, with the murder of  my cousin, my relationship ending, and so many changes this year, I can say I am now forced to spend time with me and thats not a bad thing, I actually love myself dearly, but now I am actually able to sit alone and think, pray and feel everything I need to feel in order to re create my energy. So for me Self Care is doing the work internally and its more than one day a week, for me its every day, every moment, I am learning to  put me first and making decisions with me in mind first.  I even created my own little ritual (See some of my agenda below)

*I pray every night– (Its ok if you arent religious Im not either but my spiritual life is FIYA!) (lol) I pray hard, I mean REALLY PRAY, cry out and everything if need be, aint no shame over here!).

*I spend at least 1 hr in the shower/bath every night– ( I love water and it really soothes me,helps to relax my mind, I sing to instrumentals (jazz), as part of my meditation, & make up songs expressing my gratitude and it really helps me release.

I Write Letters to myself and read alot– expressing things I need to release when something is heavy on me and Im very specific, thats helpful too.

Keeping a clean house, with plenty of candles, fresh scents, and plenty of flowers! -( Yes I buy myself flowers and I place them on my table, they make me smile as a reminder of how beautiful life is.

I place posted notes on my mirror that I change out every week with powerful words or sayings that remind me that what you speak becomes your reality so I work to change my words, which change my thoughts and this helps create your positive atmosphere and energy.

Work Out– I love to run ( well , walk run, jog) lol. Early in the morning on weekends.

Eat Healthier– It helps me to feel lighter, and It helps my skin so much!

Pamper myself– I love to use the Aztec Clay, and apple cider to do my mask for my face, and I love to do pedicures and exfoliate my skin and wash my hair and just love all on myself!

Limit TV I love shows, I have a few favs but I honestly have very little interest during the week because Im so consumed with me that it gives me something to do on weekends, I may watch tv 2 times a week, It has helped my spirit so much!

Limit Cell Phone /Social Media-I know this is a big one and I honestly thought it would be for me to but I do not talk on my phone much at all during the week, I limit social media to maybe 15 Minutes a day, during the week too. I only use the phone for emergency or to check on my family, other than that, phone is on low and on charger.

I love on my puppies– I love my babies! They keep me busy! A girl and a boy, 8 months 40 pounds each …Husky /lab/pit mix! They are full of energy!

Now of course this isnt everything of course I also love to cook and spend time with friends to balance it all, but this is to give you an idea of what self care to me is all about …SELF… doing what makes you internally smile, what makes you glow and get back to that happy space, cause thats what it is all about, true happiness.

Sending you LOVE,LIGHT and a bunch of Positive Vibes!!!  #BMichavery


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