Its been a while, honestly a very LONG while, and I will be completely transparent, I have been so consumed with life that I actually didn’t miss it. I mean sure I know I have had alot to say, and Ive had things I could have expressed, discussed or created news worthy posts about, such as politics, relationships, entertainment, new shows, latest artist, songs fashion, makeup etc, and so on. But I realized that I honestly dont want to talk about those things, well I do but mostly to just past time. I realized I needed some substance, I needed something that I could write about that would actually help me grow. I had to be reminded why I started this blog anyway, I mean what was my purpose…Id forgotten. In the last year, so much has happened, I fell in love, gotten 2 puppies, enjoyed friends, and actually lived a lot, suffered from brutal death of close relative, friends, got my heart broken, etc so forth, and then it hit me, while I was searching for some inspiration, I was hurting, not inspired, angry, and needed to read or hear something that would pull me out of my “slump” but guess what…..I couldn’t find it. Sure there are many lifestyle blogs, some that talk about relationships and getting over heartbreak, some with amazing quotes on being grateful for life and how to build a brand or business (basically staying busy to avoid “feeling”) , there were sites that showed me why I should move on, etc but NONE that showed me how to fight when things are so hard you cant see past the NOW, none that showed me how to pray or what to pray when you arent religious but you are spiritual , lost your way and need to reconnect with yourself internally to heal inside out, NONE that showed me the importance of having faith in letting go when your heart and soul tells you that this was supposed to be “meant to be” but you are now no longer speaking to the person your heart yearned for just a year ago, how to know if you are supposed to fight for it or let go. NONE that helped me really deal with and over come what I was feeling and not masking, avoiding or neglecting the real issues at hand.
Then it hit me, I started this blog to help myself to heal over 5 years ago, you see Im human, Im a woman, and on any normal day, im not concerned with only politics, or who looks good in what, or what drama show i can watch tonight, you see I as of late had been going through something that shook my world, and I was and still am fighting to maintain my internal peace when I want to give up, I am fighting to hold on to my sanity when I feel like im going to lose my mind, when I cant do anything but cry, because of everything Ive gone through, I need more than that HOT new song, or that sexy photo of that guy on the internet, I need more than the latest trend or reality show, or latest political drama, racial issues etc, I NEED substance something that builds me up internally not helps to distract me from that. So thats why I decided to write again, I want to share my experience and journey with you, how im healing, how ive healed and how I am moving forward , how I am learning to let go and REALLY LET GOD and if that helps someone else, than to GOD be the glory but Im doing it for me first,SELF LOVE starts with you and I have nothing to pour into others until I fill my internal cup first.
Thank you all for your continued support and patience, I pray you continue to be filled as you have before as I am transparent about my Journey to better.