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Question:Hey B.Michavery I have a Question…Well as confession i should say, Im in a ongoing affair with the Pastor of my church,and that’s Not the Worst part, The first lady is my cousin, this has been going on for A year or so Now and Im at a place where i want him to choose, i know it should not be this way and i may be viewed as a home wrecker and a condemned by the church but I’m in between a rock and a hard place. HELP me to make some clarity from this.

Answer:

Wow!..First let me start by saying thank you for asking a question SO many have probally been going through or have gone through, however maybe not to the extent of it being with a pastor, BUT if we are all honest we know it happens, Even they fall short they are human right?..Before i go into answering your question i want to let you know, I do NOT judge you!.My job here is to be real with you, without any biased feelings. NOW here we go. Ok…First, for one, There are somethings with in you that you must address, you have to find out why you even felt the need to betray your cousin in such a way, loyalty is one thing that sadly people do not take as serious as it should be, now again it does take more than one to commit such a act HOWEVER i can not completely Go in on him without having BOTH sides to the story. But i will say this,Regardless to if he is the pastor of a church or not, sleeping with a married man or a man in a committed relationship says alot about your character, Not saying he was right cause he was completely wrong! His loyalty is to his wife not you and regardless to you being her family he took vows and preaches them over a pulpit to others so that is something he would have to be held responsible for! But you on the other hand, have to ask yourself, how in the world would you expect him to leave her for you. He has already shown you how much respect he has for you, by engaging in such a disrespectful act with another woman outside of the marriage LET ALONG IN THE CHURCH!! AND HIS WIFE’S COUSIN!.. Its something totally wrong with that!..As women we have to value ourselves more than that, as a woman who has been in a situation with a cheating man, i know how hurtful it can be, and then on the other side i know how selfish the other woman can be. YOU have got to snap to reality and know that this man is not your man, he is married and regardless to the feelings he may say he has for you, if he really was going to make a choice to leave his wife he would have already done that before beginning this relationship with you, YOU CANT MAKE A MAN do anything ! And whats between your legs is not any diffrent from the next woman, It takes way more to keep him and you cant keep a man that wasnt yours in the first place!.Besides he is NOT a true reflection of a man of God If he can continue with a double life and still give people the word about adultry yet not feel condemned at the same time!.. That’s not a man God has for you Sweetheart! At this point its not about how he and his wife will work on it, its about you and your cousin, and you as a person!  You owe it to yourself and your cousin to come clean and let this situation go, Not sure how your spirit allows you to face her, you must know your worth is  more than that! And this situation is not healthy. Remember how you get them is how you lose them. A person no matter who they are will treat you how you allow them to and what you allow is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. LET IT GO……#B.Michavery